In January of 1894 in the small Italian village of Capodrise, a baby boy was born to a young woman whose husband, the baby’s father, had died a few months before the birth.

The new widow was soon courted and in time agreed to marry another villager who traveled each year to America where he found employment, earned money and then journeyed back to Italy.

This practice of “coming and going” was observed by a number of young Italian men who left the port of Naples yearly, traveled to New York, earned money to build a cash reserve that would eventually bring an entire family to the “New World.”

Finally, in the mid 1900s the former widow, the son from her first marriage and the second husband sailed to New York and were met by relatives who had settled in Fort Wayne. A number of immigrants from Capodrise had made their home in the Hoosier city, and the new family was welcomed.

When the transplanted young man turned 16, he was hired as a laborer on the Pennsylvania Railroad where for 10 years he worked industriously and saved money. His dual purpose was to buy a house and send a dowry back to the village for a bride. By the age of 26 the young man had accomplished both goals, and a bride was chosen. That young man was my husband’s father.

The youngest daughter of a family named Arucci was selected. The prospective groom was 26. The imported bride was 16. She did not remember him at all, nor did he have a clear memory of her. However, the agreement was reached.

On April 26, 1920, Giovanna Aruccia sailed from Naples for a lengthy steerage journey across the Atlantic to Ellis Island.

Once the prospective bride arrived in Fort Wayne and was settled into the home of an aunt and uncle, the courtship began. This young girl who had traveled alone carrying only an altar cloth, her spaghetti bowl and knowing not one word of English was to become my husband’s mother.

The young couple courted for three hours every Sunday afternoon for one year. Under the watchful eye of a chaperone, they learned about each other and prepared to marry at Saint Mary’s Church at the conclusion of a 12-month acquaintance.

My husband was the third child born to this arranged union, and contrary to the unusualness of the romance, they spent more than 40 years in a happy marriage.

Jennie Martone taught me many things. From her I learned to judge true Italian sauce, exemplary meatball texture and the deliciousness of home-baked bread. She made incredible chocolate cake, lemon pie and a coconut Easter cake formed into the likeness of a lamb. She insisted her kitchen be repainted every year. She allowed one to sit on her couch without its plastic covering. We never gathered at the dining room table unless it was for a communion breakfast or a confirmation dinner.

Everything happened in her kitchen. We ate pasta every Sunday, plucked grapes from her backyard arbor, and sampled tomatoes and peaches she had “put up” for the winter.

Jennie Martone wore print button-down-the-front “house dresses,” black or navy blue crepe for Sunday Mass and refused to watch her son play football or basketball. Instead she went to church and prayed for his wellbeing.

She loved her grandchildren and was quick to praise or scold them. The little ones were puzzled by her fractured speech pattern. Since Grandpa worked outside the home, his English was more understandable. However, her colorful phrasing added to her charm and provided her with many friends.

All during our own long marriage, her son and I have remembered her and praised her unique phrasing, her sound advice and her warm heart. She was a wise woman who knew how to turn a phrase, stir the sauce and rear a fine boy who has been an exemplary husband and father.

Product of an arranged marriage, my mother-in-law reared a fine boy is a post from: Wedding Speech 4u Review

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By Rebecca Ruiz, msnbc.com

Drew and Skyler Russert are 16-year-old identical twin brothers from Los Altos, Calif. who share the same blue eyes, straight hair and love for football.

While recent research points to non-genetic causes of autism, 16-year-old identical twins Skyler, left, and Drew Russert aren’t consumed by discovering the origins of their disorder.

Looking at them now, on the football field or in their high school classes, it would be hard to tell the boys were diagnosed with autism when they were nearly 4. Drew had a moderate form of the disorder, while Skyler’s case was severe.

Their parents, Peter Russert and Gaynelle Grover, were surprised by the diagnosis. The Russerts had no family history of autism, but they suspected a combination of environmental factors and genetics as a possible cause.

Was it local pollution or perhaps a viral infection during Gaynelle’s second trimester? Was it their ages? Gaynelle was 40 and Peter was 44 when the boys were born.  

“There is this horrible emotional feeling, like this didn’t have to happen,” Gaynelle says.

While genes or genetic mutations were once thought to account for up to 90 percent of the risk for developing the brain disorder, recent research increasingly points to environmental triggers.

Previous research on twins found very high rates of autism among identical but not fraternal twins, indicating that the disorder was predominantly a genetic one.

However, a Stanford University study of 192 twins with autism – including Drew and Skyler Russert – found notably higher rates in fraternal twins

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The relationship is rolling along. More quotes:

– “I thought he was going to propose, but he was only taking my picture.” (Woman walking in Monterey, overheard by Ginny Howe)

– “You just had an orgasm, so just relax.” (Woman to man, overheard walking down Oak Street in San Francisco by Joseph Kobler)

– “He told the hairdresser that I have a big ass, but he loves me anyway.” (Woman on cell phone, overheard at Hearst Parking Garage by David Goldberg)

– “Don’t waste your cash on jewelry. Show her some serious commitment with a tattoo.” Man to man, overheard at Market and Montgomery by Kit Powis)

– “He gave me pepper spray for Valentine’s Day.” (Woman to woman, overheard at Park 77 bar by Joan Duddy)

– “Of course he would say most men prefer butts to boobs. You’re flat-chested and have a huge ass. What else was he going to say?” (Woman to woman, overheard in sidewalk conversation by Laurie Ann Lepoff)

– “I swear, her vagina does not have an off switch.” (Woman to woman, overheard at Good Vibrations on Valencia by Dennis Gordon)

Technical glitches

– “He’s infected with what? Oh, no, girl, that’s much worse than what you already have, and I’d call that a deal breaker.” (Woman in white coat on cell phone, overheard outside Arizmendi bakery by Steve Heilig)

– “And we need to figure out, like, what’s the right amount of doubt versus what’s the right amount of stoke? (Young man on cell phone, overheard in Garberville by Lief Clennon)

– “So what did you do for Valentine’s Day?” “Had to hang out with my husband that morning so my boyfriend could take me out that night.” (Conversation overheard at Nordstrom Rack in East Palo Alto by Hensley Ellefritz)

– “She looked like she knew how to do laundry, but she didn’t.” (Young man, overheard at an engagement party by Bob Epstein)

– “She is lacking in the essentials … like teeth.” (Man to man, overheard on Powell Street by Cris Rosales)

– “Well, she can get her own condoms, then!” (Man in checkout line at Berkeley drugstore, overheard by Steve Finacom)

– “So she wants to break up with you every time she goes back on her meds?” (Man to man, overheard on Claremont Avenue in Berkeley by Phylis Kramer)

– “I’m not a serial philanderer.” (Soccer mom on cell phone, overheard in produce section at Paradise Market in Corte Madera by Wilhelmina Mercer)

– “My moon is in Aries! Do you know what that means?” “That you’re full of bull-?” (Couple arguing while walking dogs at Fort Funston, overheard by Holley Wysong)

Making it legal

– “Take those words and put them back in your mouth.” (Woman after male companion had proposed marriage, overheard at La Folie restaurant by David Landis)

– “I’m not going to marry you until you build me a toilet.” (Woman to man, overheard on Piedmont Avenue in Oakland by Robert Wilson)

– “I just couldn’t bear to miss a wedding where the ring-bearer is going to be a goat.” (Woman on cell phone, overheard in Novato by John Ristow)

– “What? You got stood up at your wedding again?” (Man on cell phone, overheard in Chico by Jim Dwyer)

– “Larry’s speech at the wedding was great. Except for the part about the sausages.” (Woman to two men, overheard at Chamber’s Landing in Lake Tahoe by Alex Marmur)

– “I don’t remember any of my weddings.” (Woman in tasting room at Eagle Castle Winery, overheard by Anita Bohn)

Kaput

– “Infidelity worked for me.” “No, it didn’t. You’re divorced.” (Conversation between two middle-aged men, overheard in Fort Bragg by Norma Watkins)

– “I’d friend him on Facebook, but I don’t ever want to see him again.” (Woman talking about an ex-boyfriend, overheard at House of Shields by Ted Weinstein)

Public Eavesdropping

“Would you still love me if I had a really lot of money?”

Young man to young woman, overheard at Bliss Bar in Noe Valley by Bob Epstein

Open for business at (415) 777-8426 or e-mail , tweets @leahgarchik.

This article appeared on page E – 10 of the San Francisco Chronicle

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Recently, while attending a wedding of a friend, I found myself with a group of old friends, and interestingly enough, none of us was married yet. Birds of the same feather flock together, yes, but this was an unusual assembly.

Most of these men used to have steady girlfriends and, by all means, at least one of us should have been married by now.
But, there we were, all ring-less, and seemingly, not in a rush to change that status.

After the wedding, and the speeches, which none of us found very convincing, we headed off to continue the party in more familiar settings—a watering hole aka a bar. And while there, being the intellectual lot that we are, we set to dissecting the unbelievable event that had just happened.

For starters, most of the men had gone there out of curiosity, to see if David (the men getting married) would really go through with the whole ceremony. He had gone through with it, much to the surprise of everyone. See, David was not the man that would settle down willingly.

Everyone believed that the girl must have done something to him to make him settle down. Although I tried to reason on his behalf that perhaps, the time was right and he felt he needed to hang up his boots and settle down, no one else believed it.

David’s parents were separated, his uncles were separated, practically David’s entire family seemed to be divorced or on the verge of divorce. The conversation got more and more heated, till someone asked “Why do people even bother getting married in the first place, if it is not going to even work out?” I quickly answered that with, “Why do you think it is not going to work out?” before things got out of hand.

But the scientists were ready for me. They brought out statistics showing that even though world figures showed that 60 per cent of marriages fail, in our small circle, the failure rates were much closer to 100 per cent.

For me who was pro-marriage, I had nothing to base my stand on. Examples started coming in; the most recent had been a friend of ours, a girl who had got married, and even the pessimists had to agree that from face appearances, the couple seemed perfect for each other.

Barely a year later, they had separated. The girl claimed that he was such an animal, the man said that she was just inhuman. It had taken them marriage, after four years of dating, to realise that they were actually incompatible.

Next, was a closer target; one of our circle had got married the previous year. He came from a very Christian family, where divorces were not even thought of. To a casual observer, he seemed to be happily married.

He had no reason to claim otherwise, since somehow, everyone was convinced that they were even more perfect as a couple after the wedding.

But to us who saw him almost every day, he was miserable. He was not a difficult person to live with, and the girl was quite okay. But, like he said, there were just too many “forces working against him being happily married”. Whatever that even meant. The truth was, he wished he was not married, at least, not to that particular girl.

He would not tell us why, but to the keen, it was not so hard to figure out. The girl was a great person, but not for him. Now that he knew better, he said he would look for different qualities in the girl to marry if he could roll back time. In the end, on both sides, everyone managed to reach a sort of agreement that marriage was not worth trying.

Marriage is just like anything else, especially business; you take a risk, and there is a chance it will not work out. But if it does, it has great rewards.

But if you asked me, deep inside, I knew that the chances of hitting a success in marriage were getting slimmer and slimmer with each passing year, as we rushed towards “modernisation”..

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Mitrasen Yadav is an old hand at politics, but these days, the 67-year-old Samajwadi Party candidate bats with caution. So when a group of cricket enthusiasts asked Yadav, who is contesting from Bikapur constituency in eastern Uttar Pradeshs Faizabad district, to inaugurate a match, he refused. The Election Commission can turn around and say the cost of the entire function will be added to my election expenditure. These days, I avoid attending weddings of family and friends, he says as he leads a group of people in Ismailpur Simora, a village in Bikapur where he is campaigning.

After all, didnt Pawan Pandey, also of the Samajwadi Party, cut down on the pomp of his wedding because he knew he would have an uninvited guestthe video surveillance team of the Election Commission? Pandey cut down his guest list from 25,000 to 100 but the EC team turned up anyway.

After elections in Manipur, Punjab and Uttarakhand, Uttar Pradesh heads for its seven-phase election that kicks off on February 8. In one of the most closely monitored elections ever, teams deployed by the Election Commission take turns to work round the clock to ensure that no candidate flexes his muscle or money power.

Candidates know they are being watched, so this election, there are no free meals, no long convoys of cars, no sarees and other freebies, no vitriol-spilling speeches. Traditionally, Bikapur, part of the fertile eastern UP belt and one of the five constituencies in Faizabad district, has seen bullets do the talking in ballot season, but that has changed over the last few elections. The sitting candidate here is don-turned-politician Jitendra Singh Bablu, who defected from the BSP to contest on a Peace Party ticket. Bablu is an accused in Congress state president Rita Bahuguna Joshis house arson case.

Tags: Election Commission, Samajwadi Party, Mitrasen Yadav, vitriol-spilling speeches

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